"My Favorite Things", autism-style

My son with autism is nearly 15 years old.  When things start buzzing around Christmastime, he has a guarded enthusiasm.  He loves to bring out the movies of the season, but isn't so excited about how much changes around the house.  So it was especially beautiful when he stopped on Saturday morning and noticed ornaments on our tree.  He found the ones that had meaning to him, and pushed buttons on those with sound effects.  It was good to see him enjoy things on his terms.

And though I'm not sure why, it made me think of the Rodgers and Hammerstein song "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music.  And I put together this alternate, interpretive version -- a compilation of all things my boy (and a little of my girl thrown in, too).  Some of it just might resonate with your experiences.  So get your tune ready and sing along!  (Yes, I cheated out of a stanza in each series.  You get the idea.)

Julie Andrews sings "My Favorite Things" in Rodgers & Hammerstein's
The Sound of Music (Robert Wise Productions, 1965)

Shirts without long sleeves or rough tags or stitching

(Put that junk on me and watch me start itching)

Pants I slide into without buttoning -

These are a few of my favorite things.

Schedules and checklists so I know what’s coming

People who don’t mind my flapping and humming

Toys with lights flashing but not ones that sing -

These are a few of my favorite things.

When the dog barks, when my sis cries, and my ears hurt bad,

I block it all out with my hands or my voice, and then I don’t feel so sad.

Swimming and jumping and water slide riding

Getting away from the noise while I’m hiding

Puppies and kittens that snuggle and kiss -

These are a few things that bring me such bliss.

My mom, dad and teachers and friends, but not strangers

Light sabers, Nerf guns, and all Power Rangers

Time by myself without too much talking -

These are a few of my favorite things

When the plans change, when I can’t cope, and I’m feeling mad,

I rewind a movie to my favorite part, and then I don’t feel so bad.

Make sure you build in plenty of time for your student with autism's favorite things this holiday season!  Share some of your child's favorite things in the comments.

Happy Holidays!

I will be refraining from writing a blog entry this week and next to celebrate the season with my family.

If you have enjoyed or benefited from reading these posts, what a lovely reciprocal gift!  Many of you have sent encouraging remarks over the past year, telling me of the ways you're promoting Good Friend's Awareness-Acceptance-Empathy message.  From posting entries on your office door to using specific pieces as discussion platforms during staff meetings, you are putting words into action.  For that I thank you!

Photograph: Andreas Kuehn/Getty

During this final week of 2012, I encourage you to help us promote our mission through your charitable gift.  Donations postmarked by December 31st can be mailed to Good Friend, Inc., 808 Cavalier Dr., Waukesha WI 53186.  Online donations (click on the Donate button) will be accepted through midnight EST.

Warmest wishes to you and yours for a holiday filled with understanding and friendship!

Holiday Drop'n Shop

Some of us need a little extra incentive to do our holiday shopping.  Denise and I were thinking of these  people when we dreamed up Good Friend's Holiday Drop'n Shop.  Once the full-on retail fervor of Black Friday hits, malls are prohibitive for the faint-of-shopping-heart.  Why not get a big chunk of the gift list taken care of beforehand?  And if you were imagining your shopping nirvana, would it include chair massages?  And chocolate?  Maybe a warm beverage to wrap your chilled hands around?  Would you like something for nothing?

Yeah ... me, too.

On Saturday, Oct. 27, from 10:30 a.m. until 1:00 p.m., meet us at Steinhafels in Waukesha, Wis.  We'll be in the Community Room, pumping laid back Christmas music over the speakers and snacking on various desserts while we peruse the cash-and-carry and catalog offerings of the following vendors: Lia Sophia (jewelry), Mary Kay (cosmetics and skincare), Pampered Chef (kitchen essentials), PartyLite (candles and home decor), Pepper it Up (custom paint-your-own pottery), Tastefully Simple (food ingredients), T.F. Woodworking, Thirty-One (tote bags), Tupperware (food storage), and Uppercase Living (wall appliqués).

Just walking through the door qualifies you (and our other guests) for some great door prizes, including those pictured here.  And there's NO admission fee!  Want your name entered more often for the giveaways?  Every time you make a purchase from a vendor, you'll get another chance to go home with an item.  Here's the hitch: You have to be present to win.  If we call your name and you're not there, we pull another one.

So come for the shopping, stay for the demonstrations and prizes, and help Good Friend create cultures of acceptance in schools!  All of the vendors are donating a quarter of their proceeds to further our autism awareness-acceptance-empathy mission!

Questions?  Contact Denise, 262-391-1369.

Hosting Autism for the Holidays?

While I am sure most people with neuro-typical development ("NTs", as they're sometimes referred to in autism circles) look forward to the holiday season, it is not always so readily welcomed by those experiencing the world with autism.  And if you're the host/-ess of this year's festivities and you have a family member with autism who's attending, please keep this seasonal AUTISM acronym in mind ...

A is for anxiety. Anxiety is a real factor in determining behavior for a person with autism. Not knowing where one is going, whether or not and when there will be gifts, and if there will be a place where one can compose one's self with dignity are all fears that may block joy.
U is for uncomfortable. Scratchy formal attire, while handsome for photo opportunities, does not a happy person with tactile-defensiveness make.  Caregivers: lose the shirt, tie, and/or wool sweater and give yourself permission to bring your loved one in his/her comfiest clothing.
T is for tips & tricks.  What's your family member with autism's special interest?  Maybe you could ask his/her caregiver what you could have on-hand in case of "emergency".  Grab some fidget toys from the dollar store (but watch out for the ones that have gel or liquid inside - that can get messy!).  Some people with autism like light-up and/or music-making baubles and others don't.
I is for information.  One of the greatest gifts you can give to the family bringing the person with autism is a good idea of what's going to happen.  What are we eating and when?  Will we open gifts before or after the meal?  Do you have a TV where we can pop a movie in as a distraction in case we're waiting?
S is for sensory overload.  I have always liked the song "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas", but I'm starting to think it's just a terrible reminder of the metallic bells, bright lights, and scented candles that come with the season.  Too much input for the senses will diminish the coping ability for your loved one with autism.
M is for meltdown.  And if that loved one runs out of ways to cope, he or she will indeed have a meltdown.  It's not a tantrum.  Don't punish it.  Understand that it's meant for your understanding of the state he or she is in.  Respect his or her limitations.

What are some ways you've adapted your holiday celebration to be respectful of your family member with autism?