Now accepting nominations for the 2012 Good Friend in Education Award!

Schools that invite us to come present to their staff and/or students receive a Presentation Kit.  In that kit, among other materials and resources, is a card explaining our Good Friend in Education Award.  Each year, Good Friend pays tribute to an individual, group, or team (depending on the nominator's description) that has taken our autism Awareness-Acceptance-Empathy® message to heart.  Past winners have included ...

• a team of upper elementary students from Waukesha who were particularly helpful for their friends receiving Specially-Designed Phy Ed services.
• a team including peers, educators, and related professionals in Germantown who collaborated to ensure the successful inclusion of an elementary school student with autism.
• a teacher in Milwaukee who went out of her way to make her classroom inclusive of her student with autism before the school year even began.

Competition was fierce last year -- which is a good problem to have!  If you know someone who deserves recognition for their good friend behavior, please submit a 100-word essay describing why to denise@goodfriendinc.com.  Be sure to include the following:

• Nominee’s name as it should appear on the award
• Title/Position held (or “Student” and current grade level, if applicable)
• School/Organization name
• Nominee's phone, email, and address
• Nominator’s (YOUR) name and contact information
• Title/Position held (or “Student”, if applicable)
• School/Organization name

Nominations are due May 14.  Winners will be notified by June 1.  All nominees are welcome to join us at a special celebration on August 3 in Waukesha, Wis.  Details will be publicized in late June.  Contact Denise (262-391-1369) with any questions.

Different ≠ Deficient

Rodin's "The Thinker" taken at the Rodin museum in Paris. Copyright © 2007-2008 James H. Linder

The concrete thinker in every human wants to quantify things.  How many?  How much?  What's the difference between them?  And it's that last question that tends to get us into a pickle.  We want to assign a number to demonstrate the difference -- even when it's not a quantitative difference.  And even if it's a qualitative difference, we concrete thinkers want to have a handle on the disparity.

When it comes to testing and analysis, as in the realm of qualifying for special education services, we have to be specific.  What is the age equivalence for the expressive/receptive language ability?  What is the difference between the child's actual age and the developmental communication ability?  If the standard deviation is at least 1.75 below, then (in the State of Wisconsin) the student may qualify for speech-language services through an IEP.  If not, well ...

Collecting data and searching for patterns is an excellent way to track progress (or lack thereof).  We write quantifiable goals in IEPs so we can tell whether our means for achieving our goal are successful and whether or not we've satisfied the goal.

So I suppose I shouldn't be so ruffled when people look at children with autism and try to quantify their differences.  In some cases, that's warranted for service entitlement.  But as caretakers, we have to stop looking at different as being equal to deficient.  For if different < normal, then it's okay to treat different < average.  When we follow that math equation, different = deficient.  We certainly can't say different = average (although we are all "different" by definition), because then we run the risk of eliminating supports that different requires.  Have I confused you thoroughly yet?

The point is this.  Yes, the autistic brain is different than the neuro-typical (NT) brain.  Its differences lead to altered ways of experiencing the world.  And in order for that experience to be accepted into society at large, both sides of the equation need to make accommodations.  But making accommodations isn't an intrinsically bad thing.  We all make accommodations ourselves and for our loved ones (sharing workloads by managing strengths, using calendars to keep track of appointments, etc.).

If we truly want individuals with autism to be accepted by their (NT) peers, we need to stop measuring those differences and displaying the disparity.  We need to be less concerned about the appearance of difference in inclusive settings and downgrade the importance of blending with NT peers.  Make the accommodations for the student with different learning abilities and explain their necessity to peers in teachable moments as appropriate.  Transparency is a value increasingly embraced in our culture.  If we are hiding difference, we are harboring the sentiment that difference is bad.  And when we allow that sentiment to cloud our thinking, then we perpetuate the harmful untruth that people with autism are lesser than their NT peers.

Think about it.

Social emotional matters

Don't worry.  I'm not going to make you lie on the couch of psychoanalysis for this blog posting.  But I do want you to reflect for a moment.  Depending on how old you are, I'm going to require you blow some dust off the box of memories in your brain and open up to the cards that hold your elementary school experiences.  What are you thinking about?  The smell of that new box of crayons?  The exultation of finally tying your shoes by yourself?  The way Tommy pulled that girl's hair at recess?  The time you forgot to zip your pants after returning from the bathroom and having a classmate point out your mistake in a not-so-discreet way?

I'm guessing not many of you went right to the math lesson card.  Or the correct sentence structure page.  Because the experiences that stick with us have some sensory and/or social-emotional basis.  I marvel at teachers and administrators who have such tunnel vision for academic learning that they deliberately carve away character-building curricular elements.  For these individuals, teaching to the tests is all-consuming.  There is no room for humanity.  This makes me sad.

If we don't teach social-emotional skills with the same fervor we teach academics, we risk releasing to the community young adults who can complete a task without regard for how to manage themselves in a sphere of reference to their environment.  If you need an evidence basis for the importance of social-emotional learning, check out CASEL.

Our students with autism are entitled to the same benefits of social-emotional learning.  Many prioritized lists by educational autism experts show the learning of new academic skills below elements like effective communication, self-regulation (from a sensory and emotional standpoint), and social understanding.  Building skills and practice of healthy social-emotional behaviors into an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) are important practices if we want good life-long outcomes.

At Good Friend, Inc., we believe that peer sensitivity training and peer mentors are crucial aspects of a classroom inclusive of a child with autism.  Give us an opportunity to show you why!

Be Inspired!

From Dictionary.com

in·spire

  

1.

to fill with an animating, quickening, or exalting influence: His courage inspired his followers.

2.

to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.): to inspire confidence in others.

3.

to fill or affect with a specified feeling, thought, etc.: to inspire a person with distrust.

4.

to influence or impel: Competition inspired her to greater efforts.

5.

to animate, as an influence, feeling, thought, or the like, does: They were inspired by a belief in a better future.

What inspires you?  You might answer my question with the question, "To do what?" To get out of bed! To go to work! To do your best at school! To make a new friend!  Inspiration goes beyond motivation.  We might be motivated to get out of bed because we have to ready ourselves for an appointment or obligation.  Our motivation to go to work may come from the promised paycheck.  But inspiration is something else -- something more.  When you look at the etymology of inspire, you get a sense of a breathing in of spirit.  So the life-giving air in your lungs to do well at school might come from an enlightened teacher.  And the breezy spirit of friendship might have blown in your next BFF.

I can tell you unequivocally that I am inspired by my children with autism to do my job tirelessly and with fresh air daily.  I wonder how many neuro-typical people realize how hard my children with differently-wired brains work to do so many things that come effortlessly to them: use and interpret body language, tone of voice, and comedic timing; initiate and maintain social relationships; process and respond appropriately to verbal language.  I could look at them and despair; but instead, I look at them and breathe deeply.

Look at your person with autism today and be inspired to do better -- for him or her and for yourself.  (And if you don't have a person with autism, you won't have to look too hard.  If you know 100 people, you likely are already connected.)

SPECIAL ALERT for Autism Society Chapters

We are tickled by the overwhelmingly positive response to the Autism Society of Ohio, Greater Akron office campaign to bring our autism peer education DVDs to schools.  (Here's the Facebook thread.)  Select Autism Society chapters across the country received an email earlier this month with a special offer for our 2-disc DVD set, which includes How Can I Be a Good Friend to Someone with Autism? (2007), intended for grades K-5, and the award-winning Choosing To Be a GFF (2011), for grades 6-8.

If your chapter was NOT on our email list, please have them get in touch with Chelsea, who will gladly send the details so you can get this campaign ready for schools in your area in recognition of National Autism Awareness Month!

Twitter Storm on Autism Sunday

Do you tweet?  Perhaps I should frame that question in a more developed context.  In this world of social media, we all make choices about what we are/not interested in knowing and/or sharing about our own lives and the world's happenings.  There's Facebook for the more personal socializing, and LinkedIn for the professional networking.  Then there's Twitter, which tends to be a chaotic mash-up of news links and stream-of-consciousness opining.  Whether you tweet (post messages under your own user name) or lurk (follow other users of twitter-verse), if you have tweeps (Twitter users you follow and followers) who care about autism, then you've likely heard that yesterday, February 12, was Autism Sunday.

So what does that mean?  It means that a dad in the UK started the concept of an international day of prayer for autism a decade ago.  And in the worldwide social media revolution, having a topic "trend" on Twitter has become a coveted phenomenon.  So theoretically, encouraging Twitter users globally to post about autism using the #autismsunday hashtag would put autism awareness on the Trending map.  A fine idea for the 100 million or so users in twitter-verse.

As I write this post in the middle of the night on Saturday, I have no predictions about the likelihood of Autism Sunday's Twitter-storm success.  I do, however, have some predictions about what our family will do on Autism Sunday.

We'll wake up to get ready for church: me first as Mom, and I'll wake my 10-year-old daughter with Asperger's Syndrome, because with the difficulty she has with focus and executive functioning, it takes her longer than the average tween to get ready for anything.  I'll give my husband the first "alarm" before I hit the shower, and the second wake-up call thereafter.  My 13-year-old son with PDD-NOS is the lowest priority when it comes to the rousing roster.  He's so hyper-efficient in his morning routine that if he's left to wait, he becomes anxious.

So an hour or so after our household Sunday dance begins, we'll head to our place of worship to pray.  I'll probably throw an extra prayer about autism in either in our house of worship and/or somewhere else along the 24 hours that make up Autism Sunday.  It might be while I observe how difficult a time our son has balancing the "rules" in his mind with the happenings of a church service.  It might be while my daughter gazes at my face during a song she remembers I like deep in my soul, because she wants to see if I'm crying.  It might be as I'm balancing the day's menu with the particular food quirks of my teenager in mind.

I don't need a Twitter-storm to make me aware of autism.  But I do appreciate the prayers, and hope that February 12 inspired at least one more person to think about the 1% of people who experience the world through autism, and all their caretakers.

Bowling with Autism

There are so many things I love about Good Friend, Inc., but our annual Hawaiian-themed bowling event is my favorite. It's so much more than a fundraiser: It's a time for families and friends to enjoy one another while supporting a good cause. A time for colleagues to see each others' silly sides. An opportunity to perhaps win a prize for your creativity with a coconut (for real - that's a prize category this year!). And that's just on event day.

When I take a moment to pause during the event, I see people bowling side-by-side with families they've never met, but whom they may have seen. And before that day, when the typically-developing community member saw that 9-year-old boy with autism having a meltdown in a department store, she might have thought to herself how ill-behaved he was. Or perhaps she cast a glance at the bewildered mother and wondered why she wasn't managing the situation more strong-handedly.

But at the Hoa Aloha Autism Awareness Bowling Event, they might understand a little bit better that bowling with autism can be hard.  There's all this noise that perturbs the auditory sensitivity, and a throng of unfamiliar people adds unpredictability.  There are turns to take and minutes to wait -- such difficult, sometimes abstract concepts for concrete thinkers with autism.  And that darn bake sale is ever-beckoning little ones back for more, regardless of their brain wiring.

So, sure, I can fill you with a bunch of statistics in preparation of National Autism Awareness Month (April):

• 1:110 children in the U.S. has an autism spectrum disorder. (But remember - this is a lifelong brain-based difference; not a condition of childhood.)
• Autism is at least three times as prevalent in boys than girls.
• More children will be diagnosed with autism this year than childhood cancer, juvenile diabetes, and pediatric AIDS combined.
• Children with autism are more likely that their typically-developing peers to be bullied in school.

But I don't know that offering head knowledge is the best way for you to understand how important it is for our organization to provide social support to communities including people with autism.  I hope you'll join us at New Berlin Bowl on April 22.  We've increased our goal for this year's event by 25%, so we need more teams, more companies, more donors than ever before to extend themselves in the pursuit of autism awareness, acceptance, and empathy.  For more information or to register your team, click here.