Teachers Who Make a Difference

It's the last week of school in our district, and my own children have been through tremendous transitions this year.  In the hands of less capable educators, this week might have felt very different for us.  I have had school years as a mom -- and I'm sure you teachers and students have had them, too -- when you're just grateful the year is OVER.  Scrounging for a scrap of fabulous with which to redeem the missed opportunities can be emotionally exhausting.  But this year, I could fill a book with victorious vignettes.

I don't know how I didn't hear of it sooner, but the responsive poem by author-advocate Taylor Mali regarding "What Teachers Make" struck a chord deep in my heart when one of my daughter's classmates shared excerpts from it at their year-end celebration this week.  And as I wrote out individually the twenty (yes, when you have two kids with special needs, the numbers add up!) notes for teacher gifts, there was one in particular that got the waterworks going.

To understand why, I have to back up the timeline.  My son started high school this year, and at the new parent orientation the preceding winter, I was expecting to understand how my boy would fit into the school culture.  His autism and mental health challenges can be obstacles to social acceptance, but when the social emotional conditions are favorable in a school community, they generally are not immoveable barriers.  After that orientation, I left feeling as if students like my boy were either an afterthought or no consideration at all in the school culture.  There was plenty talk of AP courses and athletics, but very little about different abilities.  There was talk about embracing racial and socio-economic diversity, but none about neuro-diversity.

Contacts with key people at the school and district were promising, but everyone's busy.  And this isn't their mission.  But it is mine, as a parent-professional.  So I got busy.

This wasn't a year of jumping into the social emotional current with both feet.  It was a year of studying the river and dipping in toes.  It was a year of learning the landscape and befriending the natives.  And we found a tribe for my boy.

So the thank you note that I wrote to this teacher, as the advisor of my son's newfound tribe, was the one that made me cry.  Because, you see -- he helped create a community of acceptance for this one kid.  This one student who I thought might be forgotten.  Left out.  Not included.  But he was accepted and included.  And it makes a difference.  Forever.

I know the good administrators and educators like this one never stop thinking and planning.  So for all of you difference-makers out there, really consider this summer how you can be more inclusive of students with neurologically diverse experiences.  Because there are a lot more moms like me who love nothing more than a good end-of-the-school-year cry.

A Spectrum of Friends

First, to honor the lives of the students and staff lost in the Sandy Hook community in Connecticut ...  There is no amount of explanation that will heal hearts, but we hope our prayers for the survivors and tears for the slain will resound across miles and time.

This week's topic was to be based on friendship in elementary school -- a follow-up to last week's thoughts regarding peer relationships in early childhood.  It seems now, with these budding first grade friendships forever frozen, a respectful tribute of sorts.

There are three main considerations of peer relationships in elementary school as they apply to students with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).  First, that they are a necessary part of social-emotional development and mental health.  Second, that they will exist, but perhaps to a differing depth and breadth than their neurotypical (NT) peers will experience.  And finally, that they should be specifically developed and nurtured for mutual benefit.

As we look at the determinants of quality of life for adults living with autism, we notice that connections in the community are key.  Jobs, recreational opportunities, and social/familial relationships help us, whether we have typically-wired brains or not.  Learning to form and derive enjoyment from these connections starts in elementary school.  Tony Attwood, author of The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome and a world-renowned clinical psychologist specializing in the treatment of individuals with ASD, notes that the ages of 4 to 6 years are critical for motivating these early friendship skills.  While social impairment is a diagnostic criteria for an ASD diagnosis, it doesn't mean that relationships are less important to the development of someone with autism.  It helps to understand, however, that these relationships may look different than those between NT peers.

Many individuals with autism prefer to interact with people either younger or much older than they.  In the case of elementary school students, the 3rd grader may gravitate toward 1st graders on the playground; or the 2nd grader may bond with his speech-language pathologist versus his classmate.  In the case of the former, delayed social maturity may play a role, as well as a sense of competence around less-complicated unwritten social rules.  For the student who prefers to socialize with adults, contributing factors could include a penchant for specialized conversational topics (i.e., migratory patterns of birds or dinosaurs of the Mesozoic Era), an acceptance or level of patience not experienced among peers, or a gravitation to the familiar (in the instance of children receiving many hours per week of adult-driven therapies and interventions).

Whatever those early connections are, channel them into platforms for generalizing positive social behaviors.  Speech therapists can use the foundations of these friendships to seed new social skills, such as turn taking in conversation or noticing tone of voice and body language.  Since words only account for (at best) a third of our communication, "speech" skills are inextricably tied to these social nuances so elusive to our friends with autism.

So maybe elementary school-aged children with autism might not have the quantity of friends their NT classmates have, but the quality of their early friendships is immeasurable.  They are the building blocks of critical social development, eventually contributing toward peer acceptance and positive self-image.

And we should not ignore the benefit that students with typical brain development derive from these opportunities to learn, relate, and grow.  One of my son's very first friends was able to decrease his own school-related anxiety by focusing on the help he provided to my boy.  Studies on Peer-Mediated Instruction and Intervention programs have demonstrated that specifically-trained mentors achieve better academically and feel more fulfilled because of their engagement in these relationships.  They become less self-absorbed and more empathetic.  They develop leadership skills and flexibility -- traits which will eventually make them more employable, as well.

Ultimately, children with autism should have a spectrum of friends: ones they can share their special interests with, ones who help them be the best social being they can be by gently pushing development of new skills, ones they can feel competent with at their social-emotional level, and ones who accept them right where they're at, regardless of outward manifestations of their autism.  Are we as NTs any different in our need for a diverse friend base?

"Be prepared!"

(adapted from our Aug. 2010 newsletter)
We are indeed borrowing that famous motto of the Boy Scouts of America. Whereas they’re reminding their boys to be prepared for whatever wilderness adventure or lifesaving opportunity they might encounter, we are encouraging schools and families to be prepared for whatever classroom situation they might encounter.

When considering the research of Dr. Connie Kasari (UCLA, 2009), we realize that preparation is a critical intervention for students’ success. Kasari’s study of students with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in inclusive classrooms led her to conclude that preparing the environment (the staff, the students, and the physical readiness of the space) to receive a student with ASD is perhaps more important than social skills training and a one-to-one aide for the impacted student. (See The Orange County Register article, “Peers are key for autistic kids, researcher says”.) This requires a more coordinated effort on behalf of the school and family, but has ultimately proven to result in better outcomes.

Many schools now are moving into a positive behavioral intervention and support (PBIS) approach to improve their campus climate.  Social emotional learning is gaining momentum as a paradigmatic shift in education.  As administrators invest in the relational atmosphere of their schools, they see decreased referrals, improved academic performance, and better unity among students.

This applies to Good Friend’s services as well.  Administrators of public schools in excess of 88 students can be statistically assured that there will be at minimum one child with ASD enrolled. That being the case, it is likely that the least restrictive environment for that student will be an inclusive classroom. And the way to prepare that environment is through education.

Good Friend offers staff in-services, which last from 60 to 90 minutes, at a fee of only $100* (*additional expenses are associated with travel beyond 75 miles of Waukesha, Wis.).  And for schools in southeast Wisconsin that book their staff training by October 30th and wish to participate in an independent University of Wisconsin-Whitewater research study, there is NO FEE.  The in-service is applicable for all staff, from speech therapists to physical education teachers.  The best part is the service is performed right at the school — no need for travel expenses or substitute teachers. The material covered ranges from the medical diagnostic criteria to some best practices in education.

Student services include general assemblies (K-9th grade, but best with no more than three consecutive grade levels per service), Peer Sensitivity Workshops (K-5th grade), and Individualized Classroom Presentations (6th-9th grade). Schools that are using systemic PBIS or similar pro-active interventions will find that the Awareness-Acceptance-Empathy® model is a natural programming extension and reinforces those principles. General assemblies are suitable for schools with a number of students on the autism spectrum or when information does not need to be student-specific. However, the PSW is a better format for presenting personal explanations of particular behaviors to a targeted age group.

If you need some guidance to determine what mix of services would best match your school’s needs, feel free to contact us. We want your school community to be prepared.

The Right Tools

Last week, I had four enormous spruce trees removed from my yard.  The work crew arrived at 9 a.m. and by 2 p.m., all that remained were four piles of fragrant, shredded mulch.  Even if my husband and I possessed the skill and knowledge these gentlemen had, there's no way we could have done the same job.  We didn't have the right tools.  These guys had enormous chainsaws and bow saws and stump grinders and cranes.  They had cherry pickers and wood chippers and hand trucks.  And muscles -- big ones.

Anyone who works with tools, whether in a kitchen or a garage or at a desk in front of a computer, will tell you how important it is to have the right tool for the right job.  Wrong tools for the right job and vice versa will be useless.  Why do we think this is any different for our children?

Our children need tools for their social-emotional toolbox.  Noticing the social impairments in children on the autism spectrum, caregivers developed social skills training.  We were equipping students with autism with tools we assumed they could use with their typically-developing peers.  In some cases, it was a case of right tool, wrong job; we were equipping students for the job that comes after social understanding.  It was kind of like handing over the chisel before we gave them the mallet.  And they looked at the block of stone, glanced at the chisel and thought, "Why do I need this again?"

Somehow, we missed the importance of putting the tools of awareness and acceptance in our typically-developing kids' toolboxes also.  We sent them to school with their pencils and paper and crayons in the backpack without explaining the differences between learners, and how important it was to accept each of their classmates regardless of those differences.  It didn't seem to matter much when the kindergarteners walked away wide-eyed and turtle-shelled with their big backpacks.  Even in first grade, they interacted mostly with whomever they were near.  And we assumed they just understood their classmates with differently-wired brains.

Boy, were we wrong.

They have all sorts of problems to solve, but no tools to get the job done.  Without the right tools, they'll chip away at the block of stone without much skill or finesse, and we'll wonder why they've been unable to produce a masterpiece.  They did the best they had with the tools we provided.  Had we put the right tools in their toolboxes and showed them what each was for (think Peer-Mediated Instruction and Intervention), imagine what the finished result might have been!

I think it would have looked like meaningful inclusion.  Let Good Friend help you equip your students for an inclusive classroom in the 2012-'13 school year by scheduling staff and student services to take place immediately in the fall.  Contact me or Denise before school's out for the summer!

Teachable moments

Since my son was four years old, we've made a point of returning to his pediatric neuropsychologist every two to three years for an evaluation.  It's not for the purpose of diagnostics (his primary diagnosis of PDD-NOS has remained unchanged since 2003), but to assess his visual-spatial reasoning, cognitive and social abilities, expressive and receptive speech, and fine and gross motor skills.  The best part about the comprehensive report written after all the tests are compiled and analyzed is the page of recommendations the evaluating team develops.  These suggestions are specific to home and school teams, lending themselves to better parenting and incorporation into the IEP (Individualized Education Plan).

When we were facing the transition to middle school for our firstborn, one of the best recommendations seems now to be the most obvious to me: Explain everything.  When you're watching a story on the news about the aftermath of a tsunami, talk about why the person being interviewed is crying.  When a commercial makes you laugh, explain that the play on words is what makes that funny.  If you ask him to put deodorant on before he leaves for school, tell him it's because his hormones are starting to prepare him for being an adult, and that means sweat in places like armpits gets smelly.

I remember reading in a book when I was expecting this same child that I should speak to him while pregnant and while he's an infant, well before his own verbal abilities formed.  It seemed unnatural at first, but came more easily as practiced.  I have found the same to be true with explaining the "hidden curriculum" we take for granted.

It's just as important (if not more) for my daughter with Asperger's Syndrome.  She seems more aware of these daily vagaries and therefore more confounded.  She will often come to me explaining a social situation that she felt she handled awkwardly.  We do a little debrief.  She starts to tell me who was involved and what occurred by her perception, and I begin to ask questions.  "When you laughed at her, were other kids laughing, too?  What did her face do when you laughed?  Did she smile or hang her head?"  And, since she's been taught to notice these things, she recalls.  While we're talking through it, she might come up with a response on her own that might have been more appropriate.  Sometimes it warrants an apology to her friend; but it always results in a better understanding of the scenario.

And while the brain wiring associated with autism spectrum disorders makes the hidden curriculum piece more difficult to grasp, it doesn't mean that these teachable moments should be relegated to the population of individuals with ASD. If you observe a situation in the classroom, on the playground, or in your home that presents an opportunity for a social-emotional lesson, capitalize on it!  Perhaps you saw a student stand up for another when group behavior was starting to deteriorate.  Be sure to point out how you appreciated the UPstander quality the model student displayed.  Maybe your own child made an unnecessary judgment about a child nearby who responded in an unexpected way to environmental stimuli.  Remind him that we don't all process information in the same way.

In being mindful of the value of these teachable moments, we will contribute positively to the mental well-being of the children in our care.

Social emotional matters

Don't worry.  I'm not going to make you lie on the couch of psychoanalysis for this blog posting.  But I do want you to reflect for a moment.  Depending on how old you are, I'm going to require you blow some dust off the box of memories in your brain and open up to the cards that hold your elementary school experiences.  What are you thinking about?  The smell of that new box of crayons?  The exultation of finally tying your shoes by yourself?  The way Tommy pulled that girl's hair at recess?  The time you forgot to zip your pants after returning from the bathroom and having a classmate point out your mistake in a not-so-discreet way?

I'm guessing not many of you went right to the math lesson card.  Or the correct sentence structure page.  Because the experiences that stick with us have some sensory and/or social-emotional basis.  I marvel at teachers and administrators who have such tunnel vision for academic learning that they deliberately carve away character-building curricular elements.  For these individuals, teaching to the tests is all-consuming.  There is no room for humanity.  This makes me sad.

If we don't teach social-emotional skills with the same fervor we teach academics, we risk releasing to the community young adults who can complete a task without regard for how to manage themselves in a sphere of reference to their environment.  If you need an evidence basis for the importance of social-emotional learning, check out CASEL.

Our students with autism are entitled to the same benefits of social-emotional learning.  Many prioritized lists by educational autism experts show the learning of new academic skills below elements like effective communication, self-regulation (from a sensory and emotional standpoint), and social understanding.  Building skills and practice of healthy social-emotional behaviors into an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) are important practices if we want good life-long outcomes.

At Good Friend, Inc., we believe that peer sensitivity training and peer mentors are crucial aspects of a classroom inclusive of a child with autism.  Give us an opportunity to show you why!