"Thank you for supporting the mission."

I am an unashamed Goodwill shopper.  In fact, for Easter, my daughter and I wore beautiful things I had found at Goodwill somewhere along the line.  And I just love it when you make your purchases and when you drop off donations, an employee says to you, "Thank you for supporting the mission."  I don't shop at Goodwill for the great bargains (exclusively); I shop there and donate goods to them because I believe in Goodwill's mission, its vision, and its values.

Events have great power and purpose when we believe.  Our belief in the power of acceptance has led Good Friend on a journey of five years.  We believe that children tease what they don't understand, so we purposed ourselves to teach them about autism spectrum disorders.  We believe that friendship is a right of all children -- not only socially adept ones -- and consequently we developed a model to foster relationships.  We believe that relationships have impact beyond school, and look forward to hearing stories of employment after graduation that can be tied back to what students learned by participating in Good Friend services.

We have had parents who believe that Good Friend can make a difference in their child's educational experience offer to pay for our services on behalf of the school.  And we generally respectfully decline -- not because we don't believe that we can make that difference, but because we know that the administration and staff have to believe, too.  We need them to be partners with us in autism awareness, acceptance, and empathy.  Because otherwise, when our hour is up and there is no support for those social pillars, they will crumble.

During National Autism Awareness Month, we encourage you to support Good Friend's mission by

• participating in or donating on behalf of a bowler for our 4th annual Hoa Aloha Autism Awareness Bowling Event; Sunday, April 22, at New Berlin Bowl.
• "[High]lighting It Up Blue" with a blue feather, natural hair extension, and/or sparkly tinsel in your hair by Salon Brillaré.
• hosting a screening of one or both of Good Friend's peer sensitivity films.
• inviting Good Friend to come to your school (via staff initiative!) to work with faculty and/or students
• making a donation to Good Friend, Inc.
• telling someone about the importance of social support for all students, and how Good Friend can help create a culture of acceptance.

Thank you for supporting the mission: To create autism awareness, teach acceptance of differences, and foster empathy for students with autism spectrum disorder among their typically-developing peers.

Creating a Culture of Acceptance

Yes, today is World Autism Awareness Day.  It's a day recognized by the United Nations as having significance to draw attention to the plight of individuals with a brain-based difference that impacts the way they experience the world.  So many have chosen to show their support by displaying the color blue - in their choice of clothing, exterior lighting, and even in their hair!

One school stands out to me as a particular example.  Swanson Elementary (Brookfield, Wis.) has really capitalized on the idea of home-school collaboration.  At the urging of a mother of a student with autism and with the support of other staff members, the school opted to ask the students to wear blue today (their school spirit wear is blue), use sidewalk chalk to create puzzle pieces and a supportive message, hang a blue banner in the foyer, and switch the dusk-to-dawn lighting outside to blue.  They also hosted a Good Friend assembly for their 2nd through 5th grade students, with payment coming from the school parent-teacher organization as well as district funds.

This is a school committed to a culture of acceptance.  They're not just creating a lunch bunch (which is great, but not campus-wide) and teaching social skills to those students with related goals in their IEPs.  They're not only teaching the staff about autism, but also allowing professionals to talk with all students about pro-social behavior on a day where positivity about autism might be hard to find.  (With the diagnostic prevalence of ASD in the U.S. creeping up to 1:88 children per the CDC, many have reacted with fear and anger.)  Swanson is working with families, administrators, staff, and students to send a message, loud and clear: "We accept you, students with autism.  You are a valuable part of our community, worthy of our support."

That we are all reminded about autism today in shades of blue is wonderful.  Now shine the light of acceptance on those who are aware by your example and leadership.

Now accepting nominations for the 2012 Good Friend in Education Award!

Schools that invite us to come present to their staff and/or students receive a Presentation Kit.  In that kit, among other materials and resources, is a card explaining our Good Friend in Education Award.  Each year, Good Friend pays tribute to an individual, group, or team (depending on the nominator's description) that has taken our autism Awareness-Acceptance-Empathy® message to heart.  Past winners have included ...

• a team of upper elementary students from Waukesha who were particularly helpful for their friends receiving Specially-Designed Phy Ed services.
• a team including peers, educators, and related professionals in Germantown who collaborated to ensure the successful inclusion of an elementary school student with autism.
• a teacher in Milwaukee who went out of her way to make her classroom inclusive of her student with autism before the school year even began.

Competition was fierce last year -- which is a good problem to have!  If you know someone who deserves recognition for their good friend behavior, please submit a 100-word essay describing why to denise@goodfriendinc.com.  Be sure to include the following:

• Nominee’s name as it should appear on the award
• Title/Position held (or “Student” and current grade level, if applicable)
• School/Organization name
• Nominee's phone, email, and address
• Nominator’s (YOUR) name and contact information
• Title/Position held (or “Student”, if applicable)
• School/Organization name

Nominations are due May 14.  Winners will be notified by June 1.  All nominees are welcome to join us at a special celebration on August 3 in Waukesha, Wis.  Details will be publicized in late June.  Contact Denise (262-391-1369) with any questions.

Different ≠ Deficient

Rodin's "The Thinker" taken at the Rodin museum in Paris. Copyright © 2007-2008 James H. Linder

The concrete thinker in every human wants to quantify things.  How many?  How much?  What's the difference between them?  And it's that last question that tends to get us into a pickle.  We want to assign a number to demonstrate the difference -- even when it's not a quantitative difference.  And even if it's a qualitative difference, we concrete thinkers want to have a handle on the disparity.

When it comes to testing and analysis, as in the realm of qualifying for special education services, we have to be specific.  What is the age equivalence for the expressive/receptive language ability?  What is the difference between the child's actual age and the developmental communication ability?  If the standard deviation is at least 1.75 below, then (in the State of Wisconsin) the student may qualify for speech-language services through an IEP.  If not, well ...

Collecting data and searching for patterns is an excellent way to track progress (or lack thereof).  We write quantifiable goals in IEPs so we can tell whether our means for achieving our goal are successful and whether or not we've satisfied the goal.

So I suppose I shouldn't be so ruffled when people look at children with autism and try to quantify their differences.  In some cases, that's warranted for service entitlement.  But as caretakers, we have to stop looking at different as being equal to deficient.  For if different < normal, then it's okay to treat different < average.  When we follow that math equation, different = deficient.  We certainly can't say different = average (although we are all "different" by definition), because then we run the risk of eliminating supports that different requires.  Have I confused you thoroughly yet?

The point is this.  Yes, the autistic brain is different than the neuro-typical (NT) brain.  Its differences lead to altered ways of experiencing the world.  And in order for that experience to be accepted into society at large, both sides of the equation need to make accommodations.  But making accommodations isn't an intrinsically bad thing.  We all make accommodations ourselves and for our loved ones (sharing workloads by managing strengths, using calendars to keep track of appointments, etc.).

If we truly want individuals with autism to be accepted by their (NT) peers, we need to stop measuring those differences and displaying the disparity.  We need to be less concerned about the appearance of difference in inclusive settings and downgrade the importance of blending with NT peers.  Make the accommodations for the student with different learning abilities and explain their necessity to peers in teachable moments as appropriate.  Transparency is a value increasingly embraced in our culture.  If we are hiding difference, we are harboring the sentiment that difference is bad.  And when we allow that sentiment to cloud our thinking, then we perpetuate the harmful untruth that people with autism are lesser than their NT peers.

Think about it.

Social emotional matters

Don't worry.  I'm not going to make you lie on the couch of psychoanalysis for this blog posting.  But I do want you to reflect for a moment.  Depending on how old you are, I'm going to require you blow some dust off the box of memories in your brain and open up to the cards that hold your elementary school experiences.  What are you thinking about?  The smell of that new box of crayons?  The exultation of finally tying your shoes by yourself?  The way Tommy pulled that girl's hair at recess?  The time you forgot to zip your pants after returning from the bathroom and having a classmate point out your mistake in a not-so-discreet way?

I'm guessing not many of you went right to the math lesson card.  Or the correct sentence structure page.  Because the experiences that stick with us have some sensory and/or social-emotional basis.  I marvel at teachers and administrators who have such tunnel vision for academic learning that they deliberately carve away character-building curricular elements.  For these individuals, teaching to the tests is all-consuming.  There is no room for humanity.  This makes me sad.

If we don't teach social-emotional skills with the same fervor we teach academics, we risk releasing to the community young adults who can complete a task without regard for how to manage themselves in a sphere of reference to their environment.  If you need an evidence basis for the importance of social-emotional learning, check out CASEL.

Our students with autism are entitled to the same benefits of social-emotional learning.  Many prioritized lists by educational autism experts show the learning of new academic skills below elements like effective communication, self-regulation (from a sensory and emotional standpoint), and social understanding.  Building skills and practice of healthy social-emotional behaviors into an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) are important practices if we want good life-long outcomes.

At Good Friend, Inc., we believe that peer sensitivity training and peer mentors are crucial aspects of a classroom inclusive of a child with autism.  Give us an opportunity to show you why!

Be Inspired!

From Dictionary.com

in·spire

  

1.

to fill with an animating, quickening, or exalting influence: His courage inspired his followers.

2.

to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.): to inspire confidence in others.

3.

to fill or affect with a specified feeling, thought, etc.: to inspire a person with distrust.

4.

to influence or impel: Competition inspired her to greater efforts.

5.

to animate, as an influence, feeling, thought, or the like, does: They were inspired by a belief in a better future.

What inspires you?  You might answer my question with the question, "To do what?" To get out of bed! To go to work! To do your best at school! To make a new friend!  Inspiration goes beyond motivation.  We might be motivated to get out of bed because we have to ready ourselves for an appointment or obligation.  Our motivation to go to work may come from the promised paycheck.  But inspiration is something else -- something more.  When you look at the etymology of inspire, you get a sense of a breathing in of spirit.  So the life-giving air in your lungs to do well at school might come from an enlightened teacher.  And the breezy spirit of friendship might have blown in your next BFF.

I can tell you unequivocally that I am inspired by my children with autism to do my job tirelessly and with fresh air daily.  I wonder how many neuro-typical people realize how hard my children with differently-wired brains work to do so many things that come effortlessly to them: use and interpret body language, tone of voice, and comedic timing; initiate and maintain social relationships; process and respond appropriately to verbal language.  I could look at them and despair; but instead, I look at them and breathe deeply.

Look at your person with autism today and be inspired to do better -- for him or her and for yourself.  (And if you don't have a person with autism, you won't have to look too hard.  If you know 100 people, you likely are already connected.)

SPECIAL ALERT for Autism Society Chapters

We are tickled by the overwhelmingly positive response to the Autism Society of Ohio, Greater Akron office campaign to bring our autism peer education DVDs to schools.  (Here's the Facebook thread.)  Select Autism Society chapters across the country received an email earlier this month with a special offer for our 2-disc DVD set, which includes How Can I Be a Good Friend to Someone with Autism? (2007), intended for grades K-5, and the award-winning Choosing To Be a GFF (2011), for grades 6-8.

If your chapter was NOT on our email list, please have them get in touch with Chelsea, who will gladly send the details so you can get this campaign ready for schools in your area in recognition of National Autism Awareness Month!